Tuesday 1 January 2013

Kicking off 2013 with a terrifying goal, wish me luck!

New Year and most of us are making resolutions and I wish you loads of luck, but this year it's not for me. I do it every year and I can't actually remember what I've ever made a resolution about. This year in all honestly I don't want it, I don't do failure well. I hate losing and I also don't want to give anything else up. Perhaps that means I don't truly want to succeed or I would make a resolution and stick to it. However I don't feel that way, I feel as though I've came along way and lately as I mentioned in my latest post I'm less motivated. Generally January is when the majority of us are probably most motivated, but not me I'm feeling contented about the way I look and it's nice to feel this way. Sure I'm worried I've been slack in the last two weeks and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned my results could start slipping away if I don't get my bum into gear, but ultimately I'm thinking although my results may not be jaw dropping they have been achieved through setting goals I'm ready for. 





I came up fizzy drinks and sugar in my tea 2 years ago and sweets (except chocolate) last March and do I miss them now, not even a teeny bit! Did I miss them in the beginning of doing so, well it's sugar and it's addictive so hell yeah like you wouldn't believe! I did it though and haven't looked back, I feel proud of this and only I know how hard they were for me to give up. 

I've now gone down from a size 14 to a size 8 and some may think that's not an achievement as I wasn't overweight before, but you know what I'm really proud of myself. Not for being a size 8 as that was never my intention, I was happy being a size 10 to 12 as long as I was toned. No I'm proud as I can say without any guilt that I did it the right way. I didn't cheat with a fad diet or take slimming pills. Nor did I do it overnight only to put it back on. No I made little changes and kept it off. I stumbled at times, felt fat although I've never been and then binged and felt sorry for myself, but then I snapped out of it and started again and didn't wait till bloody Monday! I exercised regularly, even when I really couldn't be arsed and it was cold and after I felt better. I ate seeds, which when your a fussy bugger is an achievement, HUGE in fact - I felt like a bird, but then I embraced it as they are uber good for me and I want to healthy, energised and refreshed and so I learnt to appreciate these little gems. I switched from black tea to green tea and now I prefer it. I made lifestyle changes. I made a commitment and I'll continue to make them. I'm sure I'll gain again over this relapse lately and lack of motivation, but that's alright because I know I won't allow myself to go back to those old habits that I've kicked butt with. I prefer the new changes now, they are my healthy habits and not a burden but a pleasure. Life should be a pleasure and that's why I'm not making anymore currently. I should be giving up the treats that have recently crept into my diet way too much and I will, but not just yet. Right now I need to just feel like I can still have some pleasure  in food and not feel restricted. I've got to the point where I was worrying about every tiny thing I was putting into my mouth and getting obsessed, this isn't healthy either. So right now I just need to relax a bit and remember that if I want results I have to take baby steps that are achievable.



So what's my goal for 2013.....to do a photshoot! More specifically of my tummy. You maybe thinking, big deal but to me it's MASSIVE! Although there are some photos of me with my midsection out these all have one thing in common.....my hubby has taken them. When your hubby takes the photo you can then make him keep retaking it without worrying your being annoying until you find one that looks alright. You can be bossy and say 'not that angle my stretch marks look bad or I don't look very slim from that angle'. OK to some extent you can probably do this with a photographer, but would I ever NOPE! I'd be too intimated too. Letting a stranger see you mummy tummy is one thing, to photograph is quite another and to try and tell a professional how to do there job is really quite something. The reason I guess it's so scary for me is 'what if they photograph me and think Jesus her gut is a bit crap for an instructor who's supposedly helping mums tone up'. I'd feel gutted, ashamed and like I'd let people down. So why put myself through it? Why, because I get jealous of others who have the confidence to do it. Yes jealously is a sin and all that and I'm not proud of it but it's true, I dream of being that confident. I don't wish to dream anymore. I want to live the dream. I want to be that confident. I don't know if I'll ever have the confidence to instruct a class with my tum on display but this is a step in the right direction. So watch out for this crazy lady's tum sometime in 2013 ;)

What goals are you going to achieve in 2013?

Love Miss Work it Baby x x x x

PS Happy Healthy New Rear ;p