Thursday 8 November 2012

The Sugar Challenge Results When You Have Zero Motivation!

I did 4 weeks without sugar and was so pleased with my results, but then I slowly let my results go and discovered the challenge trap. So I decided I needed to do it again for 6 weeks. I've now done the 6 weeks without sweet treats, but as I said I'd always be honest about my highs and lows I have to tell you that I did fail this time.

When your not feeling yourself it's hard to keep motivated. We've had a difficult year and it's finally taken it's toll on me and for the past couple of months I've became increasingly low. I don't like to use the word depressed and it's something thrown around way too easily and having suffered before I'm not feeling like I was then. However it's a little uneasy to say and feels a bit cringed, but to be raw I'm a bit sad at the moment. 
 
The beginning of this year we found out we'd have to move as our landlord required the property back. Both me and my hubby are self employed and neither of us have been going long enough that even with excellent references we still don't look appealing on paper to agents. Throw into the works my daughter was going to be starting School so finding a rental property in budget within a good catchment made finding a new home a nightmare to be polite. After 4 months of constantly missing out we found a property and we were all set to move into, but 3 days before the move in date we were told the property had failed safety inspections and we could no longer move in. The estate agents took our money as argued it was non refundable, but after fighting we got half back. It was an awful time but I've always believed in Karma and on this occasion it's worked. The estate agents are currently in the papers after being charged with a £4 million mortgage fraud deal. However the outcome for us meant us living with the hubby's parents for 2 months and since this is 45 miles away and it's in the countryside I felt cut off from the world. We car share so hubby was always working and with the awful Summer I was just stuck in watching the rain everyday. The business suffered, I couldn't work on routines properly as his parents own and live in a B & B so I couldn't really play music and be jumping around. The Internet was so slow with being in a rural area so doing things online was very frustrating. When we finally got moved back,we were lucky though and got a place we are over the moon to call home, but the previous tenants decided to damage the plumbing and wreck the place before we moved in so it wasn't exactly a smooth move. I also had my Cheerobics® training to do a few weeks after the move and with all the stress I was feeling very under prepared knocking my confidence. My daughter started School this year so that's been emotional and hard to get used too. I miss her silly amounts.

A lack of working on the business this past year has meant that my business is now struggling to stay a float and I'm having to make the decision to keep going or walk away. This is causing no end to making me feel low because quite obviously it's always sad when you have to make this decision, but it's more than that I'm finding it a struggle on a personal level too. I'm totally torn with what to do and this just isn't me, I totally decisive and always know what I want to do. For the 1st time in ages I actually just don't know the answer and this is driving me insane and causing me to feel very stressed. There's been times in the past when I've had to decide whether to give up but I've always known in the back on my mind that I haven't really wanted to because I believe in my vision for the business. This time it's different because I've lost self believe in the fact that my USP is something that is wanted, I generally just don't know anymore. My heart says keep the business going because I love instructing (which was a surprise), I love the group of women that attend (again I'm surprise I've met such a lovely bunch), I love getting fit which I never thought would happen and I generally would never wish to come out the industry now. I'm so pleased with how much fitter and healthier I am now and I'm proud of the fact I qualified in something I never really thought I was going to pass in. The fact that shy old me managed to stand up in front of people and shout still shocks me but that's just one side. The other side is my my head which says quit now and stop being daft and kidding myself. I just keep thinking I've been going two years and I usually only have about 6 in my class. I gain someone new and lose 2 more it seems and generally it's for lovely reasons but things outside of my control - they get a job and have to work when my class is on, or have another baby etc. I just can't seem to get the interest and realistically in these times I don't think I can compete with the market. There are two gyms offering £10 a month with classes included and there is absolutely no way on earth I could offer close to that. Then they are bootcamps that whilst are more expensive than me they do offer more classes within their package. Which again I can't do because of childcare and the cost of doing so.  Then they are the trendy classes out there like Zumba which I don't like so there is no way I can offer this as it always comes off it your not passionate. Again I tried to combat this by offering Cheerobics® which seems to be getting a lot of interest, but as people need to book in advance (so I can be sure they'll have pom poms) this seems to put people off and then they either don't book in or book but never turn up for the 1st class to even see if they like it. Maybe it's the time of year or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better for a business that is drowning. I've lost self believe in my abilities as an instructor which I feel is effecting my classes and the business. I feel physically fit but emotionally exhausted. The truth is I think I need to call a day on the business but I haven't got the courage to do so yet as quite frankly I love it and will miss the class, business and people dearly. So the story continues until I make a decision I guess :( .........

So how did this affect the challenge and how did I fail? Well I just physically couldn't seem to get into it and give it my all. I didn't have any sweets (haven't done since Spring - go me! ;)), chocolate, biscuits, cake, fizzy drinks (gave those up two years ago), squash etc etc but I did eat way too much processed foods some days which defeats the object of quitting sweet treats since quite often these foods are loaded with sugar and generally just unhealthy. My problem is I lose motivation because I do believe all in moderation so I start to tell myself it's OK to eat these things within limits. The problem with that is the amount of sugar you need in your diet is so small and as sugar seems to be in everything (even the unexpected) I'm probably having my healthy limit unknownly easily anyway. The other problem is the more I have the more I want. I have a bit then before I know it I'm on a sugar binge and eat so much I feel sick. 

So why put myself through the stress eh? I'm really happy with my size and weight but I'm not at all pleased with my teeth - had so many fillings that I feel embarrassed.  Nor and I happy with my cellulite and lack of muscle definition. I know my problem is still eating lack of nutritional foods and eating for pleasure things that are terrible for my health........ but is it is all too easy to beat yourself up and stress which is just as bad when your trying to reach your healthy goals? So instead I'm trying to be proud of the fact I'm a ridiculous amount healthier than I was 2 years ago when I was living on fizzy drinks and cheesy chips, a load better than I was a year ago and some what better that I was 6 months ago. I can tick so many boxes of things I've achieved.This is something I'd of never ticked off had it not been for the business. So for every failure you've made along the journey to health you've probably learnt and achieved something great too. I'd never done these things if I hadn't started my business, the business made me want to practise what I preach to members.

So instead of punishing yourself and yo yo dieting why not just make yourself a check list of those addictions/bad habits you wish to combat and focus on one at a time. Whilst it takes time it works as there is absolutely no rigging way I'm going to go back to the lifestyle I had two years ago, I cringe just thinking about it and the thought of my daughter copying terrifies me. Motivation will come and unfortunately it will go , but when it does don't give up just remember what you've already achieved and visualise what you want.  Then make a plan to which habit you'll combat 1st. Focus on the positive and believe you can achieve your goal. So get working on that checklist. Tick off any healthy swaps, weight loss, exercise you now do and so fourth it's all relevant.

 

Good luck with your goals.

Love Miss Work it Baby x x x